I have previously addressed the importance of social relationships for personal growth, Finding meaning, and the process of Individuation. Social relationships play a part in fully developing one’s personality (with its multiple Sub-personalities), and this development is in keeping with the expression of ones Birth chart.
They are both an “indicator” and a “catalyst”. They reveal our own selves to us by prompting conscious and unconscious psychological reactions that encourage us to evolve. We can think of them as a quest for some sort of complementarity that we feel we need, or as an antagonistic struggle that’s the source of inferiority complexes and repression, but we are not all equal before the interpersonal theater.
Extroverts / Introverts
We do not all have the same approach or assumptions in social relationships; it all depends on whether we have a dominant tendency to be introverted or extroverted. This in turn will depend greatly on the dominant of our Birth chart and our Complexes.
- Extroverts, with a masculine dominant, the element of Fire, and dynamic planets (the Sun, Mars, Uranus, Pluto, etc.) in their chart, indeed are more at ease in their connections with others, at least as far as “taking the initiative” and “making things happen”, and we could believe that this is undeniably an advantage in terms of relationships. It says nothing, however, about the depth of their social interactions, and they often have a more casual air.
- Introverts, with a feminine dominant, the element of Water, and passive planets (the Moon, Venus, Neptune, etc.) in their chart, have more difficulty establishing connections, but the connections they do build are deeper. They have a natural tendency to be introspective, with a rich inner world, and their long-term investment in their relationships makes them much less superficial, even if they do not have as many relationships.
Any emphasis on the Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) or the air Houses (the 3rd House, 7th House, and 11th House) gives us information about a person’s interpersonal skills and sociability.
Emphasis on the Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) or the earth Houses (the 2nd House, 6th House, and 10th House) gives us information about a person’s ability to create structure and stability, and also their level of devotion.
Interpersonal exchange as a source of complementarity
If some parts of a person’s personality are “underutilized”, for either an introvert or an extrovert, these parts may be activated and developed through interpersonal exchanges with certain people. Meetings and exchanges with others are sources of projections for the Anima, Animus, and Shadow, and they produce the necessary alchemy for psychological and spiritual maturation.
The first relationship that one establishes in life is generally that between “Parents” and “Child”. This “three-way relationship” allows each party to find their place. Later, the child is shaped by the meaning of the Ascendant / Descendant Opposition; the child infers their own existence from their encounters with “others”. As an adolescent and an adult, they begin to take part in the social theater, which gives rise to all of their social relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, hierarchical relationships, etc.
The unconscious principles on which a relationship is constructed always have their foundations in the search for complementarity.
We search either for people who will allow us to express our Sub-personalities directly, or for people who will express them externally for us, in our place.
Imagine, for example, that the Mars in your birth chart is in a weakened state (for example in fall or detriment, or afflicted by dissonant Aspects), which reduces both your energy and the planets catalytic power. Mars is a truly dynamic feature of any birth chart : it’s indicative of how a person expresses desire and their abilities to take action, take initiative, and be self-affirming. If Mars is likely to be lacking vigor in you, you will have trouble expressing and experiencing it.
Synchronicity may allow you to meet someone who possesses the “astrological attributes” that favor the activation of Mars in you. This relationship may also favor the realization of a Projection, such that you vicariously experience this Mars that you are incapable of expressing correctly. This person will thus have a catalytic effect on the process of your development and on your personality; without having met this person, without this energy having been expressed, it’s possible that you would not have been able to progress in the same way and that entire sections of your personality would remain “asleep”.
It’s important to note that we could of course say exactly the same things for a strong Mars, and for all of the other Planets as well.
Synastry highlights the complementarity and creativity that can come out of a relationship (especially out of Love). It allows us to establish what the sources of projection are and the periods of time when they might potentially be expressed. Astrology is a wonderful tool for understanding relationships.
Fighting against the poison in others’ gazes
The weight of social pressures should not be underestimated in the context of any relationship, and it’s important to distinguish between the two types of poison that can infect the mind :
- on the one hand we are faced with what we hear : direct criticisms coming from the outside world which we need to face (and which sometimes have a genuine underlying basis in reality, but not always)
- on the other hand we are faced with what we imagine : the weight of our own inner world, which we take care of ourselves, as we imagine what we think is the objective perceived reality of our entourage, from those close to us to simple passersby.
What we believe to be “objective”, and even what we call “objective”, does not exist.
Every human viewpoint is by definition “subjective”, and thus is biased on any level. Only God can claim to have perfect, absolute objectivity (the synthesis of the 12 Signs and 4 Astrological Elements).
By definition, we each have our own interpretation of reality. We extrapolate, thinking that everyone thinks and believes the same things as us, when in reality by believing this we project our own Shadow on to our fellow humans.
When we anticipate a criticism in our social sphere, in reality we are the ones who are formulating it in the first place. The worst part is that we are never aware of it (this process is unconscious) and based on these Projections we often formulate a series of scenarios that do nothing but remove us from the reality of the present moment (see Karma in astrology).
Thus, the way that others look at us carries only the weight that we give to it, and we carry this weight in the form of inferiority Complexes and repression.
In order to fight against the influence of social pressure in our relationships, we can start by asking ourselves these questions :
- Do I truly have an objective outlook on things ?
- What is the weight of the social pressures in this thing that I am considering ? (How much of it’s truly coming from me ? And how much is simply due to external pressures ?)
- Am I being empathetic enough towards myself ? (Am I kind and benevolent towards myself ?)
- Am I strong enough to learn to love myself and disregard social pressures ?
We all have some factors in our birth charts that are more complicated and difficult to live with, and of course we all have hardships that we need to overcome over the course of our lives… but there is also so much richness ! We all have various assets that we absolutely need to use, such as creativity, originality, and various astrological factors that can be developed.
Social relationships may allow us to reveal all of this if we put the “poison” aside. It’s through our fulfillment within society that we are fulfilled as individuals.
There are no weak people, and there are no strong people
We are all, in turn, strong and weak, depending on the moment, the goings-on, the build-up of our problems, and the way that we manage them and get past them. No one is superhuman and no one is condemned to suffer from their own weakness indefinitely. We all oscillate between these two states depending on the cycles of our lives.
No matter what you do, no matter your opinion (right or wrong), you will always have people who applaud you and others who criticize you; so why try to win other people over ?
Give yourself the freedom of ignoring them !
Each person perceives the world from their own subjective viewpoint, and you cannot change that. The only thing that you have a hold on, is the way in which you yourself perceive them.
Ignoring them means giving free rein to the complete fulfillment of your being, your Sun.
Give others the freedom to think what they want, and live for yourself !
Take the best thing that each relationship has to offer you. Take advantage of them to help yourself develop, evolve, and be fulfilled. And give back nothing but the best.
Social relationships can be a wonderful source of complementarity and creativity, and depending on the whims of the planetary cycles, you can draw from them the strength that you are missing and that’s necessary for you to fully express your personality in its entirety.
In this way, on the path towards Individuation, extroverts will find an inner depth and show less superficiality, while introverts will take action and socialize more.
There are no weak people, and there are no strong people, only natural cycles, both individual and collective.