This is a psychological duality that I evoke quite often, in my studies, in consultations, and in my articles. It more often and more intensely concerns the forces of the Anima, and thus women and the feminine parts of a chart (even in men); we call it the victim/savior duality or the white knight syndrome).
Most of the time, this duality comes from an excessive expression of Neptune’s forces, either through an excess in their power, or through various related shifts that can be linked directly to them.
Schematically, this duality often consists of an over-activation of the forces of devotion and sacrifice, so these people can be emotionally hyper-receptive, hypersensitive to the outside, and powerfully empathic, all at once, which can make them tend to be more easily “touched” by external distress and problems…
Other people’s fragility can act like a magnet in a way, they will not have the strength to refuse giving this help (to have a “nurse” side), and the savior will even base the meaning of their entire life on the help they can give to others, by devoting themselves to them and caring for them, even sometimes engaging in outright self-sacrifice, including of their own life, to benefit another person or their external environment; this is a complex that is by nature very Christlike, as it reflects to those Christian aspects which are often emphasized and excessive (the famous turning the other cheek, the crucifixion, etc.).
This forms a kind of external escape from oneself (believing that our personal value can only be expressed by way of our usefulness to others), and there is a significant risk of interpersonal and often emotional drift. Relationships with others are formed on the basis of emotional dependencies, which can create very asymmetrical patterns, or often the other person will “ask” for much in the relationship: to be helped, looked after, assisted, and supported, but there will inevitably be a very significant risk of abuse, which in the end can vampirize the entire relationship…
The perverse effect of this pattern is that, for there to be a victim, there must be a nurse, and each of these 2 roles depends on the other. Very often the polarities are not necessarily fully defined: “as a nurse”, one can also deeply need and seek out help and care from others, perhaps imagining that, like a mirror, if we give this to them, they will tend to respond in the same way (which is obviously not the case).
In one of my articles, I evoked the metaphor about succeeding in learning how to fish, which involved Neptune, and here we are still in the midst of this symbolism. In a clearly defined pattern, we must learn to find the right framework for sacrifice and devotion, the right interpersonal positioning, one which is not based too much in permanent assistance and does not involve fully serving others no matter what. This relationship should not be a spiral of permanent immaturity, but should instead allow us to express abnegation, empathy, and magnanimity in a healthy way. We should not always be a “laughing stock” or always be abused, and we must not always, perpetually give everything without ever receiving anything in return (see also my article “Taking + Giving = Exchange”).
Here below are some astrological clues which may tend to activate this duality more strongly; if you have one or more of these factors present, then take a few minutes to question the way you express your Neptunian forces, to see if the shifts I have just mentioned are constellated in your life:
- a strong Neptune in birth chart, if this planet is in Pisces, in the 12th House, angular, in a conjunction with the luminaries or the ruler of the chart, in its exaltation, etc…
- a Neptune which in one way or another directly impacts personal planets, including through of a Square by the way: it doesn’t matter if the aspect is of a harmonious or dissonant nature, especially if the “gendered” planets that are connected to the Animus or the Anima are affected, that is, Venus and Mars (in addition to the luminaries of course). For example, this could be a Venus/Neptune square, a Mars/Neptune conjunction, etc…
- Venusian energies, as forces of the Anima, can obviously be much more directly sensitized by these forces, and are likely to experience them more violently, excessively, and without succeeding in finding counterbalances: thus everywhere where there are interactions between Venus and Neptune, even indirectly, it can be a sign that this “victim / savior” duality will be expressed in an affective context
- any recurrence around Libra and the 7th House should also be watched, as this is an archetype that tends to put others above ourselves, such that we value them above all else, even at our own expense; let us recall moreover that this sign shares the rulership of Venus with the archetype of Pisces, its domicile and exaltation, and it is thus able to express itself more directly, again in an affective context, with a risk of abuse and a downward spiral
- likewise recurrences related to Virgo / the 6th House can also come into play here, especially if the sacrifice is on a more social and professional level
- the Moon can be very interesting to analyze, as it can specifically indicate patterns of compensation on an emotional/maternal level. In this case, we will then see the “nurse’s care” shifting more easily and straightforwardly into mothering, even becoming a “substitute parent” for others if need be!
- in terms of predictions, there are significant Neptunian changes at the moment, in Progressions as well as in Transits, which may tend to activate this kind of interpersonal pattern over time, in accordance with the patterns that I have just mentioned in the previous bullets, especially in terms of aspects formed with personal planets. This may indicate a predictable cycle where this “victim/savior” interpersonal pattern will be activated
Whether you have one or more of these astrological factors activated, much of the solution lies in Earth forces!
It’s often said that Earth energies are truly the most likely to succeed in “settling” Neptunian forces, that is, putting them in contact with reality, especially Saturn’s forces of course, which in a way represent “the ultimate antidote”, one which really helps to structure and channel aquatic energies and their variants, including by force of circumstance.
Here again, there are the 2 axes to look at:
- earth in your birth chart, based on what it can or cannot bring to the table: the forces of structure that are already present in the birth chart, which give you something to lean on it to avoid excessively dissolving your ego (It wasn’t for nothing that ancient peoples considered Saturn to be the “guardian of the threshold”. They knew that without its forces, opening up to transpersonal forces was extremely risky and full of traps, downward spirals, and problems)
- earth activated in Transits and Progressions, which can predictably force us to come back to reality and allows for balance, mediation, awareness, structure, and focus. This is particularly true for Saturn’s transits, of course
Much of this duality is based on “emotional mismanagement”, so it will be important to analyze the dominant elements and restore balance to aquatic forces.
The goal in the end with this pattern is to attain more personal freedom and more intrinsic confidence (such that it is not based on everything that we give to the outside, to others). In short, we must manage to detach from our emotions and instead integrate certain aspects of logic and rationality, reduce our own dependencies and stop projecting them onto others, “emotionally numb ourselves” even if this means “filtering out our relationships”, and also learn to say “no” and have our personal limits respected. This remains a complex duality, however, one which will often take a long time, and also some “difficult relationships”, to be defused…